Note: if you have not done so already, watch my virtual masterclass on building a strong team to give you a foundation for these weekly tips.
Team problems are people problems: how we communicate with, treat, interact with, believe about, and work with other people. Have you ever reacted negatively to what another team member said, proposed, or acted upon? Of course, we all have. We have felt that rising tension in us and reacted accordingly. Depending on our personality or style, we may lash out, say something sarcastic, or say nothing at all while keeping it all in. None of these negative reactions are healthy for ourselves or the team. I suggest using the Three R’s to guard against this.
The Three R’s are React, Retreat, Rethink. It goes like this: a team member does something such as discounting one of your fabulous ideas. You react, perhaps by verbally and sarcastically “attacking” them. This is because you are operating out of a place of negative emotions. Later you retreat – perhaps by backing down or leaving the meeting when it’s over. Finally, you re-think how you could have handled it differently.
The problem is that your order is all wrong.
You need to re-order the Three R’s to: Retreat, Rethink, React. After the team member does something, retreat first. That could mean stepping out for a minute, taking a deep breath, or simply meaning counting to three. But DON’T REACT! When you do this, your body literally begins to use a different psycho physiological system. Now you are operating out of positive, more clear headed emotions. Then rethink how best to respond, and finally react.
This is a very simple technique that has helped me immensely and will help you and your team.
Now go build a #strongteam!